A referee in Belarus was claiming he had back pain during the match, but after the game tests at the hospital confirmed that he was just drunk. Look at the way he pushes away the physio as he tries to help him off the field - that's priceless. Apparently there was a rumor going around saying US Soccer would hire him to work MLS matches.
I can say those rumors are false, because the truth is the CCAA has hired him to work men's soccer games. A great hire by all accounts!
The Mariners finally released Richie Sexson today after three and a half years of underachievement and frustration. The one bright spot of Sexson's time with the M's was when he charged the mound and flung his helmet at Rangers pitcher Kason Gabbard for a pitch that wasn't even close to hitting him.
I remember before 2005 when the M's picked up Sexson and Adrian Beltre. Sexson had hit 45 homers two seasons before and Beltre was coming off finishing second in the NL MVP race. I thought we were on the road for greatness.
Sexon's first year was a success - he hit.263 and had 39 home runs. The next year, his batting average dipped, but he still managed 34 homers. But last year was just plain embarrassing. Sexson hit a meager .205 and only managed 21 homers. He was terrible. He was so bad, the M's benched him at the end of the seaso, citing an 'injury'.
In the last 3 1/2 years, Sexson has struck out 24% of the time he is at the plate...that is just terrible. He was simply trying to hard to impress the fans, who booed him every time he stepped to the plate. Seattle isn't known for having mean fans, but Sexson brought out the worst in them.
I think Sexson and Beltre rubbed off on each other. They both came in highly touted, and both failed to reach their expectations. Beltre hit 48 home runs with the Dodgers in 2004. Since he joined the M's the next year, he has hit 19, 25, 26 and 16 this year. His batting average has also never even come close to the .334 he hit in '04. The highest he's hit since - .276.
What the hell happened? Were they drinking toilet water for 3 years? Did they spend their offseason watching Gina Davis movies and eating Bon Bons? The M's have been one of the most tragic sports stories of the decade. In 2001, they weren't expected to be a contender. They had just got rid of A-Rod and their team was filled with mostly average players. So what did that team end up doing? They set an American League record for wins with 119 and had eight All-Stars, including AL MVP and Rookie of the Year Ichiro (.350 in his first season!!!!). Good things were to come....right?
So what's happened since then? Nothing - they haven't been to the postseason since. Seven years of agony for Mariners fans. And last year, when they finished above .500 for the first time since 2003, everyone thought this would be the year they get back to the playoffs......now they are on pace to lose 100 games and becoming the first team to do so with a $100 million roster. Ichiro is hovering at .300 and their star pitcher is on the DL.
Getting rid of Sexson had to be done. The fans gave up on him long ago. Beltre may be the next to go, because of his huge contract, even thought he's leading the team in home runs with 16. The average age of the Mariners players is 30.3 years old - the oldest team in the AL West and fourth-oldest in the AL. It's time to get rid of Raul Ibanez, Jose Vidro, Kenji Jojhima and Jarrod Washburn. Even though Ichiro is 34, he could play until he's 40 and he's got one of the best arms in the league.
Because of the Mariners' shortcomings year after year, I have become less and less of a baseball fan. It's hard to watch baseball when your team is unbearable to watch. If it wasn't for Ichiro, I would have given up on the sport of baseball all together. Every year I have become less and less of a fan...I think the fans in Seattle are starting to feel the same way.
Did any of you guys here about the 2008 Free Kick Masters? No? It took place last week in Houston. Let me give a rundown of what it is.
Soccer's 'best' free kick takers and goalies in the world come to this event to vie for a $1 million prize. The format is single elimination - you go up against another shooter, and whoever scored more goals goes to the next round. You also get points for hitting the posts and crossbar, and the further away you are, the more points you get if you make it. I counted 16 free kick takers that took part in the competition and five goalies.
Shooters included Ronaldinho, Messi, Marquez, Borgetti, Pires, Jozy Altidore, Eddie Lewis, Palermo and other random players. Goalies included David James, Kasey Keller and Toldo. I mean, looking at the lineup, it doesn't look that bad, right?
Well, it was supposed to be much better. Fernando Torres, Lukas Podolski and Del Piero all dropped out before the competition. So instead of getting world-class players to fill their places, the organizers called Romario and Jorge Campos. Serious.
Romario and Jorge Campos are a combined 154 years old. All the shooters wanted to be going against Campos. "Ok Mr. Pires. Who do you want to shoot against...world-class goalkeeper David James, or over-the-hill, undersized, out-of-shape former MLS star Jorge Campos?"
That was the first thing wrong with the competition. The quality was half-assed. Messi...Ronaldinho...even Eddie Lewis - these are known, accomplished football players. Good job. But have you ever of Shen Shi, Subait Khater Fayel or Brad Davis? No! It's like the organizers got their headliners, and said to themselves, Great, we got Messi! Now let's go out there and sign up a bunch of nobodies!
They even had a spot open for a competition winner. That's right - a nobody won some competition for a right to compete for the $1 million prize. Would baseball ever let a competition winner into the home run derby? Would the NBA ever let a nobody into the three-point contest because they won a competition to get there? Hello no! Nobody wants to watch Joe Shmoe take free kicks. Who would you rather see? A 17-year-old nobody kid or a world class footballer? Not a tough decision.
Another reason this failed was the fact that it was in Houston. It's obvious why it was there. Houston isn't far from the Mexican border. The organizers invited three of Mexico's biggest stars to partake in the competition. Of the 30,000 in attendance, 20,000 were likely Mexicans. Organizers were probably afraid they couldn't fill seats in other American cities. But that is bullocks.
If they held it in NYC or LA, they would have gotten better participants (Why would Torres or Del Piero want to fly to Houston?) If they had better participants, more fans would come out. If they held it in a better city, more media would have come out. This competition has the potential to be something big. But in order for it to mean anything, the quality of participants must improve. Here's what they need to do:
1) Change the location. Have it in Los Angeles, NYC, or Miami. I wouldn't fly to Houston if they paid me. It's one of the worst cities in sports. As Bill Simmons said a few years back, the fact remains, you would never come here for any reason, other than these three: (1) For work. (2) To gain weight. (3) To get shot.
2) Increase the prize money. One million bucks really isn't that much nowadays. Especially to European players. They have to make the prize more appealing. The $1m is chump change to the Messes and Ronaldhinos, but it's quite appealing to the Romarios and Dwayne de Rosarios. They need to increase the prize money to put it out of reach for the average players.
3) Ask the top 30 free kick takers in the world. Even though Rafael Marquez won the competition, how many kicks does he take for Barcelona? That's right - none. Asking Marquez to the competition is like asking Chris Bosh to participate in the three-point contest. Bosh is a great player, but three pointers aren't exactly his thing. They need to ask the top free-kick specialists in the world, and after that, invite the big names.
4) Beckham. They NEED Beckham. How do you have a competition without Beckham. Hell, it could have been a goalkeeping competition, and Beckham is still necessary.
5) Change the uniforms. Whatever it was the players wore during the competition - they were HIDEOUS. They looked like the jersey I wore when I was 11 years old playing for the Lazers. It was hard enough watching an overweight Ronaldinho kick the ball into the wall over and over, but watching him in this gag-inducing jersey did not help. I have searched for 10 minutes trying to find one picture of the uniforms up close, but they do not exist.
6) If they are going to bring in veterans, bring in relevant ones. I don't care about Romario. He's ancient. Rivaldo would have been a better choice. Figo, Zidane, Shearer, Totti...these are guys they should be inviting.
7) Get some noteworthy sponsors. Get Nike to sponsor the uniforms, Gatorade to do refreshments and Ford to do transportation. This competition was so budget, I doubt any of the players will return for next year.
8) ESPN writer Jen Change wrote in this article that the scorekeeping was impossible to follow. Not even the players knew how many points they were getting. The audience and writers were lost. Make it easy to follow. Free kicks should be that confusing.
I looked at the list of people they invited, and I think I may have been a bit hard on the promoters. They had confirmations from Deco, Del Piero, Bentley, Juninho and Kewell. They also sent invites to Henry, Fabregas, Adebayor, Riquelme, Drogba, and Ibrihamovic. But I bet a big reason the players declined is because they found out the competition was in Houston.
Agent - "Hey Thierry, there's a free kick tournament for a million dollar prize. Want to take part?" Henry - "Sure that sounds fun! Where is it?" Agent - "It's in the United States!" Henry - "Great! They love me over there! Great media coverage...what city? Los Angeles, New York...?" Agent - "Uhm.....Houston...." Henry - "The fuck? Oh, I just remembered, I am busy that weekend."
I think this tournament could work, but the format and quality of players is going to need to improve. The one and done format may not be the best. The fans came out to see Messi and Ronaldinho, and those two players didn't even advance. I would want to see more of those players. Give them another chance. Make it double elimination.
It will be interesting to see who participates next year. Perhaps players were fatigued from Euro taking place this summer. Looking at the way it panned out this year, there's nowhere to go but up.
From day one of being in London, I've been getting a whirlwind of shit from everyone here about being American. At work, they make fun of me for calling our boss 'gaffer' instead of 'gaffah'. At rugby, they make fun of me for shouting out directions, and when they mimic me, they sound like fucking cowboys.
So July 4th comes around, and the American bar (and I use the term 'American' loosely. The burgers are mediocre, the buffalo wings aren't spicy, and the nachos are nothing more than melted cheese on Doritos) is having a Independence Day party. Allright, I think, a night out with Americans!
I arrive at the bar at 10:30pm, and I couldn't believe what I saw.
The bar was packed. To the brim. Red, white, and blue balloons everywhere. American flags hanging from all the rafters. Streamers and confetti and Uncle Sam hats on everyone's heads. The Yankees and Red Sox were playing on tv, and Aretha Franklin was blaring from the speakers. Sounds awesome right? Well it was. But here's the funny thing -
No one there was American.
I mean, there were a couple. Maybe eight Americans out of the 80 people in the bar. But all these Brits, parading around, on MY Independence Day, having themselves a grand ol' time. They were singing American songs, eating American food, and watching American baseball.
Oh, and they drank all the Budweiser. That's right - by the time I got there, the Budweiser was completely tapped.
See, I think Independence Day to the Brits is like what St. Patrick's Day is to Americans. It's just an excuse to go out and drink. Whether or not you have any Irish heritage doesn't matter - we all go out wearing green to get absolutely plastered. Well, that's what the Brits were doing last night, but instead of wearing green, they were wrapping themselves in American flags and drinking Bud by the pitcher. This holiday, that actually means something to us Americans, is a novelty holiday to them.
The penultimate moment of the night? The entire bar, Brits and Americans alike,singing Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer' at the top of their lungs. I swear to God. I couldn't make this stuff up. It was like being in a frat house when a Journey song comes on - everyone just stops what they are doing and joins the song. The 'Grease' soundtrack followed. Then MC Hammer. Then Vanilla Ice. The bar kept singing and dancing for the next hour. It was unreal.
I stupidly ended my last blog post with the words, 'In N Out'. So what do you think the next thing I did was? Type 'In N Out' into google and see what popped up. Of course, the Wikipedia entry pops up and I spend 30 fucking minutes clicking on every picture and memorizing the 'secret menu'.
I couldn't handle it. Normally for my lunch breaks at work, I go to the basement and eat whatever the chef shit that morning. But not today. Today, I was on the quest for American cuisine. And how do you spell 'American cuisine' in England?
M-c-D-o-n-a-l-d-s.
Instead of my three-flight walk downstairs, I put on my jacket and headed out the front door to make the trek to food heaven. I got out the door and realized it was sunny and hot out. Shit, maybe I should turn around....What the hell am I thinking? I need to get to McDonalds.
Five blocks later, I arrived at the happiest place on Earth (if 'under Scarlett Johansson's shirt' didn't exist). I walked in to no line and three cashiers staring at me. I panicked. Holy crap. Which one do I go to? What the fuck do I order? Where's the dollar menu? Oh that's right, here they call it the Pound Saver menu...
After 24 minutes of staring at the menu, I walked up to the register, still having no idea what I was going to order.
I blurt out "Two double cheeseburgers. One small fry."
Uh-oh. What next? THINK MARCUS, THINK!!
"Chocolate milkshake."
She looks at her manager, looks back at me and says, "Sorry sir, the machine is..." and she makes the finger-slicing-the-throat gesture.
This almost sends me into an epileptic seizure. I look back at the menu. Two gentleman in suits are standing behind me. They look hungry. One is in a pink shirt and smells like lady's perfume. He'll probably order a salad. Pansy.
"McFlurry. Does that machine work?"
It does. And I am satisfied. It comes out to £4.85. Nevermind that £4.85 comes out to almost $10 American.
Needless to say, the meal is delicious. I waste no time, undressing the wrapper to the cheeseburger like I would a prom date in the car before dropping her off at her parents house after the party.
Halfway through my five walks back to work, it hits me. I'm reminded of how I never eat McDonalds. It's terrible stuff really. I have also had almost no dark meat since I have been in London. Oh crap. I don't think I am going to make it back to work....
Unfortunately, three stomach cramps later, I make it back to work.
I feel the burger in my stomach. Right now. As I'm typing this. It feels like I swallowed a ball of Play-Doh.
The thought of In N Out doesn't seem so appealing anymore.
I have been in London for 47 days, and I am over it. I am not over the city - in fact, I love the city. I would love to live here one day. The beer is plentiful, transportation is awesome, it doesn't get too hot, and food is everywhere.
See, I am over the situation. First off, I am living in a hostel, but we like to call it a halfway house. The hostel is also in Chelsea, which may be the most boring part of all London, not to mention the most expensive. I am also broke, and I have been nearly the whole time here. My internship (which is getting more and more boring) pays no money because I don't have a working visa.
To sum it up, you can only be living in a tiny hostel in an expensive foreign city with no income for so long. On day 50 - I have hit my limit. I am ready to go home.
The first thing I do when I get home? I haven't really made up my mind yet. The ideal thing to do would be to:
8am: wake up 9am: arrive at westwards, get a 4-hour session in a 4-6 ft SW swell with all my buddies 1:30pm: get a large breakfast burrito from Mama Lilly's 3pm: get home, play GTA4 and take a nap. 6pm: take my dog to the park and play catch 7pm: go to The Habit with my brothers, get a double charburger with cheese and a chocolate milkshake 8pm: watch discovery channel with my parents
Man. What a day. The next day, I would hit up In N Out, and I think after that, I would be fully submerged back into American culture.
The latest news - the Spurs are going to make on offer to unhappy Clippers forward Corey Maggette. What would stop Maggette from saying 'yes'? The Spurs are contenders every year, Pop is one of the most respected coaches in the league, and Maggette would be surrounded by a cast of guys who are more than happy to share the ball. Maggette made a career-high in three pointers last year, and if he is filling in for Bruce Bowen, he will surpass that number.
I think this is an excellent fit. With Duncan, Parker, Manu and Maggette - oh man. I don't care how old they are, they combine for nearly 80 points per game. Please, pleeeeeeeeeeease let this happen.
